‘I am Sorry - Please Forgive Me’
“He who cannot forgive a trespass of malice to his enemy, has never yet tasted the most sublime enjoyment of love.” Johann Kasper Lavater
How many times have you listened to that particular line and felt it was insincere? How many times have you needed, wanted to hear those words and did not? How many times have you spoken them?
According to The Oxford Dictionary, the definition for the word ‘forgive’ is, “to cease to feel angry or resentful toward; to pardon.” Sounds simple, does it not? Just stop being mad and you enter the state of forgiveness. It is neither that easy, nor that simple. Right? One does not just enter a state of forgiving, or does one? Why not just rely on the old cliché that says ‘forgive and forget.’ They are one in the same thing. Or, are they?
Let us be perfectly clear here, to forgive is NOT to forget. It seems to be in our nature to hold onto our suffering. The out of the park, homerun hits of hurt are with us always. They color our perceptions, our reactions, and our actions. If we let go of the pain, then we are in essence saying that whatever has happened was actually okay. The offender ‘gets away with IT.’ What if that perception of forgiving is all wrong? What if there’s another way of seeing things? There is you know. Keep in mind that our perceptions are based on our experiences. There is always another way to look at things.
Can we talk for a moment about choosing not to forgive, or let go of the hurt? A painful life experience, more often than not involves someone else; even if that someone else is us. In a nut shell, someone made a choice, or behaved in such a way we were left with a scar, a very negative impact. That means that ‘other’ person held a powerful position in our life. At the moment of ‘impact’ we were powerless to stop whatever the event. That event was so dastardly it cannot be forgiven.
Now that we have established how deep the hurt goes, we should talk about the Other Choice - ‘To Forgive.’ Did you know that holding onto your anger at the one ‘who done you wrong’ actually gives your personal power away to that person? By reliving the hurt over and over again, you are sanctioning the original offense. By allowing yourself to forgive, you take back that power. The perpetrator is left with nothing. That is correct, Left with Nothing!
It is all about you. When you forgive another, the healing that takes place is within you. When you release negative emotions, the peace that follows such a release is yours. This does not mean you forget. You are, however, in the purest form, letting go and taking back your power. Forgiveness is a life choice. Your Life. How is such a choice made?
Begin by accepting that you had a role in whatever happened. Be okay with that role. You were in that moment of time for a reason. Next, understand the other person was also playing a part. They probably did not understand their role; their objective may or may not have been clear to them. Their intent matters not; ‘they’ no longer hold any importance. What is important is that you wish to feel whole and peaceful. To forgive is to say that you are ready to love, respect and honor you. In that stratum, you no longer wish to hold onto hurts that happened during a time that no longer exists. When you know better, you do better.
Forgiving opens you to the warmth of love. It showers your soul with majesty, grace and compassion. Imagine how much positive energy you will gain when you release the negative energy that holding onto hurts requires.
We could be talking about a whole new you!
2 months ago